Enjoying Life

I wish I could say I haven't posted recently because I've been so incredibly busy. In fact, I've been incredibly lazy. I could get used to this lifestyle. I have been reading a lot. I finished Sue Grafton's latest book U is for Undertow.

The Hatfield Public Library has done lots of much needed weeding in the last year. For some reason, Fanny Flagg's first book, Coming Attractions, was missed and I'm glad. It's old and in rough shape but I checked it out anyway. I love all the books I've read by Fanny Flagg. Remember Fried Green Tomatoes? The term that comes to mind most often is "feel good" and this one was no exception. It's funny, witty, thought-provoking and the characters are worthy of Janet Evanovich and Carl Hiaason and yet totally believable and unique.

Simultaneously I'm still reading Change Your Brain, Change Your Body. I just finished the chapter on stress which I found valuable although learned nothing new. Dr. Amen does include laughter as a stress reducer. Reading Janet Evanovich, Carl Hiaason and Fanny Flagg helps with that.

Now I'm reading the chapter on memory and the fact that, like muscles in your body, your brain deteriorates if you don't stimulate it. A lazy brain increases your chances of memory loss and also dementia as you age. I had intended to use this free time to improve my computer skills which would enhance my resume. Now I have more reason to do so.

Last week, I attended a Toastmasters meeting. I used to be a member of the Northampton club, Speakeasy, but after several productive years I reached the point where I knew I was going to have to put a lot more work into my speaches in order to improve. And at that time, I just didn't feel like it. Rather than attend meetings and languish, I chose to terminate my membership. I've thought about going back and this is a good time. In addition to getting me out of the house and socializing, attending Toastmasters meetings is a good opportunity to network and improve my public speaking skills. Good public speaking is an asset in so many ways: giving reports at a meeting, speaking at Town Meeting, giving a presentation at a conference, etc. And even if you don't do any of those things, just being able to get up in front of a group of people and speak knowledgeably on a subject is a great way to develop self-confidence. Having good public speaking skills helps to project a polished and professional demeanor - definitely an asset in job hunting.

And it 's great exercise for the brain.

An On-Call Cataloger?

While perusing the Library Jobs on the site of the Mass. Board of Library Commissioners, I saw a listing for a part-time on-call Cataloger at the Springfield City Library. I've never heard of an on-call cataloger. Usually, if the cataloger goes on vacation there are back-up staff to handle rush items and everything else just waits.

I applied since that's what I'm supposed to be doing - looking for work. Other than the automatic response that they received my online application, I haven't heard a peep.

Several years ago while I was working for Donohue Group, Inc., I was sent to Washington D.C. to the InterAmerican Development Bank to be the cataloger for 1 week. The regular cataloger was out on sick leave and IADB didn't want the work to pile up. It was SO MUCH FUN! I flew down to D.C. on a Sunday afternoon, checked into a hotel on DuPont Circle and every morning took the metro to IADB. Then I flew back home on Friday evening. I felt so cosmopolitan!

Their collection is mostly on topics like sustainable development, agriculture, low-income housing, etc. Much of it is in Spanish, but they have a lot of English as well as some French and German. They also use the Dewey Decimal System, which surprised me. I would have thought they would use the Library of Congress Classification System, but then I realized that Dewey is more of an international system than LC. The people were wonderful and very helpful since every library has its own way of doing things. I actually had to get thumb-printed and use my thumb to get into the building as well as the picture ID they made for me.

Yesterday, I received my first check from the Mass. Division of Unemployment Assistance. I thought it was going to take much longer for the checks to start coming. I just signed up for direct deposit, so all future paychecks will be going directly into my bank account.

I've been pretty good about morning Yoga. Now I need to add some aerobic exercise and more strength training for a good balance.

Money and Other Stuff

I met with my financial advisor yesterday. We looked at my various retirement funds and what I have for Social Security. We discussed moving some funds around given my stage in life and, while hoping for the best, considered the worst possible scenario - if I can't find a job.

I like my financial advisor and I consider her a friend. We sometimes socialize. I met her through a professional organization to which we once both belonged (I think she still does) and our social/business circles overlap. We had a nice lunch and chatted about other things that we have in common.

However, after I left her office, I felt kind of depressed. Not because of anything that happened with her, but rather over the fact that during the last few years I've developed a nice system of long-term and short-term saving and now it's gone because I don't have a job. When I received my paycheck every two weeks (or actually the statement since the money was deposited directly), I would transfer a certain amount to my savings account and make a payment toward a particular loan. I loved looking at one account grow and the other diminish. Sure, both figures changed slowly, but I loved the process. I always had big plans for the growing account, but something would happen: new hot water heater, new brakes for the car, etc. And I would begin again.

But I don't have to believe any negative thoughts that pass through my mind. I know I'll find a job and do so in the not-too-distant future. And in that spirit, here are the 5 things I'm grateful for today:
1. I'm grateful for the rain watering my garden.
2. I'm grateful I have savings to tide me over for a while.
3. I'm grateful I have wonderful siblings that I can turn to for emotional support if needed.
4. I'm grateful for my friends - we're going to have supper with 2 of them tonight.
5. I'm grateful for my computer and Internet connection so that I can continue my job search.

Hey! I actually feel better.

Today, I spent the morning revising my resume and creating a cover letter for a job I saw advertised in the local paper. It's not a library job, but it's with a company that I respect and my library skills are very appropriate. I'll keep you posted.

Making Lots of Progress

Finally! I think I'm adapting to this new (albeit temporary) life. Monday was a bust, but on Tuesday I finally installed the racks that hold hanging files into my desk and filled those 2 drawers with all of my workshop materials. I have a cataloging tutorial scheduled for next week and I've just signed a contract with the Connecticut State Library to teach some cataloging workshops beginning in October. At the very least, I have bits and pieces of work.

I also gathered a bag of lovely clothes that no longer fit me (and never will) and took them to a consignment shop in Northampton. There are several items that are probably going to follow them, but I'm doing the closet cleaning in bits and pieces. I feel very good about the progress so far.

Today, I cleaned out and reordered my personal files. I tossed a lot of old stuff. Usually I put paid bills, receipts, etc. in a file and sort through it a few times during the year before I pay my income taxes. I'll have to sort at least one more time before tax time, but today I did a pretty thorough cleaning and the next sorting will go much faster.

I'm also practicing keeping positive thoughts. I have a tendancy toward depression. It used to get worse during the winter months, but regular exercise and a vitamin D supplement have helped. Still, life's disappointments can get me down and I've had a few since I learned that CMRLS would be closing.

I started another book yesterday - one of those titles that I borrowed via C/W MARS a while ago and forgot all about. This one is Change your Brain, Change your Body by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.

Two things have stood out so far. The first is that you don't have to believe every negative thought that comes into your brain. If I happen to think I just can't get organized, can't stop eating sweets, I won't be able to find a job and I hold on to that line of thinking, I've just given myself permission to do or not do all of those things. As soon as a negative thought appears, I can give myself a little pep talk and realize I have choices and control over my life.

The other memorable comment from Dr. Amen is to be grateful for 5 things every day and write them down.

1. I'm grateful I have a lovely home;
2. I'm grateful for the verdant view out of the windows;
3. I'm grateful that I'm healthy;
4. I'm grateful for my loving partner;
5. I'm grateful for the energy to continue my job search.

Keeping My Spirits Up

It's been over 2 weeks since I had to go to work. While I was still working, I had great plans for all the things I was going to do while I was unemployed. I've done almost none of them.

Partly, it's because the weather has been so hot and humid it's hard to do anything but sit. I'm still trying to find a schedule that will keep me moving but allow for a lot of flexibility. I've decided that Yoga first thing every morning is a good way to get started. I tried a walk a few days ago and even with a light-weight hooded sweatshirt and long pants, the bugs were too bad. And even in the early morning the clothes were too hot. The walk is a good, strenuous one. I live on a dead end street so I only have one option: Walk to the end of the street (about a mile) and back. It's all downhill from where I live which means it's all uphill on the way back. It's a pretty walk and a really good aerobic workout.


Yoga will keep me moving until we've past bug season.


While I was still working, I ordered a book via C/W MARS which I just received this week. I'm not certain why I ordered it. It was probably an impulse order while I was reading a review. The book is What to Wear for the Rest of Your Life: Ageless Secrets of Style. For the first few pages, I thought it was silly and frivolous and why was I reading it. But I kept going. The author talks about how our bodies change as we get older and the clothes we once wore and looked great on us no longer work. It's not just weight-gain; even at the same weight, the shape of our bodies shifts.


Being the frugal person I am, I have clothes that are over 20 years old. I find I like them less and wear them less often. As a result, I have a closet full of clothes that don't inspire me. It's kind of depressing. Kim Johnson Gross, the author of the book, found the same thing. She offers really good tips for selecting the clothes to keep, how to update them, discarding those you no longer want, and things to look for when buying new clothes. I feel as if I've found a new friend. While I'm not going about the process exactly the way she recommends, I've adapted it in a way that's been working for me.


I'm finally be able to say good-bye to some lovely clothes that for the last few years I've been thinking I might one day be able to fit into again. It's not going to happen. They will find a good home.


And I will have one less thing weighing me down and that is good.

I Need Structure

I've been working full time since I was 20 years old. I worked full time while I finished my BA at UMass/Amherst. I worked full time while I commuted to Boston for my MS in Library Science.

I've almost always had a place where I had to show up at a certain time and stay till a certain time. Or something similar. For 5 years I was a traveling sales representative for the College Division of a major publishing company, so I had to arrive on campus early enough and stay late enough to get a certain amount of work accomplished.

All of the other things I wanted to do had to be fit in before work, after work, or on weekends, so I was pretty tightly scheduled.

Now that I'm not working full time (or any time) and I can set my own schedule, I'm having some trouble doing that. There are very few places I "have" to be at a particular time.

I know that I work better (i.e. am more productive) with a schedule and I'm trying to figure out what works best for me. I know that I prefer to exercise first thing in the morning, so I've been practicing with my Yoga tapes when I first get up. Trouble is, I don't have to be up by any particular time and that kind of throws me off.

For a change, I sometimes walk in the morning, but right now there are too many bugs buzzing around my head to make walking pleasant (although buzzing bugs is certainly motivation to walk fast). When I worked at CMRLS, I walked at lunch time. I mapped out a one-mile route which I walked as fast as I could. The CMRLS location was not very conducive to walking (industrial section of Rte. 20; no sidewalks unless I crossed a busy street). I thought it was ironic that shortly before CMRLS closed, the town began a major street project using federal stimulus money and laid out beautiful sidewalks which were not quite finished by June 30. I would have loved to try them out.

I need to set up my home office. I sorted out the files I want for teaching cataloging workshops. A few days ago I bought some racks for hanging folders to put in the drawers. Now I need to label the hanging folders and put them on the racks. That is on my "to do" list.

Today I received material from the Division of Unemployment Assistance (DUA). My job for the rest of the day is to read through the material to make sure I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. I don't want to put my payments in jeopardy - but I do want them deposited directly into my checking account.

I also have some other job-search reading material which I want to read and blog about.

The truth is, I've never had much free time and I'm loving just being able to plop myself on the sofa, look at the verdant view through the sliding glass doors, and read mystery after mystery. Considering the heat and humidity there's not much motivation for doing anything else, though I did buy some colorful annual flowers to enhance the view.

Two Books

I read a lot. Mostly I read mysteries. My favorite reading time is just before I go to sleep which is not a good time for serious, intellectual thought and mysteries are a good break between real life and sleep.

I do, however, read other books and there are two, both of which I read between 12 and 15 years ago, that had a major effect on my life and continue to do so.

The first is Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. There is now a revised version. This book was highly recommended at a conference I attended in about 1995 called "Women and Money". The authors first talk about how as children, all of our rewards come from outside of ourselves. Food, comfort from parents, pets, etc. As we grow older, it is natural to continue that pattern and so we buy things. After a while, we're not getting as much satisfaction as we used to, so we buy more and more and more and wonder why that behavior pattern is no longer working. At some point, we have to realize that more does not necessarily equal better.

There is an exercise in the book to track all of your spending for one week. No judgments, no second guessing, just spend normally. After one week (or maybe it's a month - it's been a while since I read the book), look at what you've bought and assign a satisfaction number to each item. Economists call this satisfaction "utility" and it is totally subjective. I might get a lot of utility from a pair of earrings and none from attending a NASCAR race. You might be the exact opposite.

So lets say I buy an expensive cup of coffee every day, but do it out of habit and get little or no utility from it. Perhaps I should eliminate it, or buy it only once a week. The point is, we all spend money on things that bring us limited or no real satisfaction and we should be using our dollars to purchase those things that provide us with real utility. Almost immediately, we'll likely have more dollars (or have less debt).

Obviously, I have to pay the mortgage and electric bill, but I always (usually) think before spending money and buy only things that bring me true satisfaction or utility. While I admire someone else's new shoes, for example, I feel free from "having" to buy everything I like.

The second book is Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The "full catastrophe" comes from the movie Zorba the Greek. Zorba's new friend asks Zorba if he is married and Zorba says "Am I not a man? And is not a man stupid? I’m a man. So I married. Wife, children, house, everything. The full catastrophe."

The theme of this book is that you can't change life, but you can change the way you perceive life and change your attitute toward it. Do you react to situations or do you respond to them? Things happen. You may not like those things, but you must accept that they have happened. That doesn't mean you are resigned to them. You may be able to change them - but you may not be able to change them. So say something happens and you react by getting upset or angry. What then? Or perhaps your initial reaction is to be upset or angry, but you quickly realize that you cannot change what has happened. You can, however, respond to the situation in a way that diffuses it, or modifies it or some other positive outcome.

I've been laid off from my job. I can't change that. I accept it. Getting upset, angry, depressed will not help me unless I take those emotions and chanel them into something positive. Reacting doesn't help me, but I can respond. I can look for another job, I can volunteer, I can use a blog to help me sort out my thoughts and help me plan a course of action.

Both of these books are again helping me through what could be a difficult time.

And I have good news on the filing-a-claim-for-unemployment front. Yesterday, after making 7 calls and not getting through I went to the unemployment office in Northampton. It was about 1:00 p.m and there was a sign on the door saying something like "We have accepted the maximum number of new claims for the day". I went inside anyway and explained to the woman at the desk that I'd been trying to call all week with no luck. She said that it would take until closing to interview all of the people who were already there and waiting. She said to come back on Monday and that there is always a line when the doors open at 8:30. She gave me a form that needs to be filled out so that I could complete that ahead of time and speed up the process.

This morning (Saturday) the phone lines open at 8:00. I called at 7:56 and the recorded message said the office was not open. I called at 7:59, went through the 4 minute process of listening to recorded messages and entering data and heard that staff were busy helping other customers, and I could call back or wait on the phone for about 20 minutes. I waited and it was only about 15 minutes when I FINALLY talked to a representative and gave him all of my data. A packet of information is supposed to be in the mail to me on Monday.

I also got to listen to classical music (my favorite) while on hold.