The Last Time I Saw B.

Everyone knew B. He was a celebrity during the time I worked at Harper and Row (now HarperCollins). He was one of the highest grossing sales reps, though he was rather unorthodox and nontraditional as sales reps go.

We began hanging together at one of the national sales meetings and kept in touch via phone and mail. In 1982, I wanted to make a road trip to visit friends who had moved away from Massachusetts. I outlined my route, then contacted B and asked if he wanted to do any part of it with me.

After I spent a couple of days in New Jersey and a couple of days in Indiana, B and I met in Denver. We visited my friend, visited some of his friends, camped out near Aspen, and generally had a great time touring around Colorado. Then I headed for Missouri followed by Buffalo, NY.

A couple of years later, I got tired of being a publisher's sales rep and went back to being a librarian. In 1986, I attended the American Library Association conference in NYC. I had told B when I'd be there and, sure enough, he showed up. We met with some of the H and R editors for drinks, went out to dinner and took in some of the sights.

The following year, the ALA conference was in San Francisco. I stayed on several more days to visit my younger sister, Wendy, who was living in Berkeley. B joined us for a short time and then headed off on other adventures.

The next summer, I was at the ALA conference in New Orleans. I had told B I'd be there. I expected to run into him on Bourbon Street, but I never saw him. For whatever reason, after that we lost touch. Those couple of days in Berkeley was the last time I saw B.

I've been thinking a lot about Wendy and remembering our time together in Berkeley; the only extended time she and I ever spent together as adults. Though it wasn't a long time, I got to know a lot about her. And having someone else there for part of that time, someone from outside the family, gave additional dimensions to my picture of her.

Thinking about Wendy and those days in Berkeley, I can't help but also remember it was the last time I saw B. I wondered what ever happened to him. Lo and behold, he's on Facebook and is now one of my Friends. He remembered Wendy and our time in Berkeley.

Wendy died last week. I'm very sad. Communicating with B, having him remember her, is a link to Wendy that I find comforting.

Loss

On the same weekend, two people I know died.

H. was in my exercise class. She had been ill for the last several months and her death was not unexpected. Until she became ill, she was an active member of several communities: church, historical society, and service organizations as well as attending exercise class. She was in her mid 80s, but still tough, smart and witty; always dressed nicely, had her hair done regularly, and wore make-up whenever I saw her. She was tiny, but a powerhouse. She will be missed.

The second person I didn't know very well; her husband and I serve together on a committee. He missed some meetings a few years ago because she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. They're both a few years younger and I am. I began to write brief messages to her on pretty note cards, wishing her well. I sent her postcards when I went on vacation and even just from home. Chemotherapy was successful and she recovered. I had a chance to meet her in person. She was delightful and charming and I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations.

Then, the cancer returned; she began treatments, I began sending cards. After a few weeks, she and the doctors decided the treatments just weren't working and they ceased. She died. I sent a card to her husband telling him that even though I had only met her a couple of times and didn't know her well, I liked her very much.

Death is all part of the life cycle. Still, when it happens to someone I know, I'm always a little shaken. My world, the entire world, changes a little bit.