Another book

My local public library subscribes to something called Wowbrary. Every week I receive an email listing the books and other items that have just been added to the collection.

A recent Wowbrary posting included Lessons from Madame Chic: 20 stylish secrets I learned while living in Paris. Since I like to take breaks from reading murder mysteries and I'm always interested in fashion tips, I clicked on the "Reserve" button.

This book was not quite what I expected, but still pretty interesting.

Jennifer Scott spent 6 months in Paris as an exchange student. Life in Paris was very different from her native southern California and she learned a lot, only some of which was about fashion. Jennifer has one chapter in Part 2 (Style and beauty) called "Liberate yourself with the ten-item wardrobe". She claims that French women, even in well-to-do families like the one she lived with, have very few clothes. They buy good quality clothes that they can mix and match and don't wear something entirely different every single day. This wardrobe is not as restrictive as you might imagine. There are ten different items for summer and winter and many things are excluded from the basic 10 such as outer wear, underwear, jewelry, scarves, shoes and other accessories.

Ten items are fewer than I'd like to own, even with the exclutions. It feels a little like being a vegan. I can totally understand having a couple of basic pairs of pants and a couple of skirts, but I find variety in tops, of which I have several (although much fewer than I used to). Tops that really catch my attention are some of the few things I have bought during the last couple of years. I really enjoy wearing them. My wardrobe is more like being a vegetarian.

While I don't expect to whittle my wardrobe down to 10 items, it will definitely continue to get smaller. There are several things that have been on on the borderline and this book is tipping them out of the closet and into the donation bin.

Another chapter that struck my fancy was entitled "Look presentable always". The Parisian family with whom Jennifer lived always wore their good clothes, even at home. While I take care when I go out in public and when having guests in, at home alone, I usually wear what I call "play clothes." These are the sweat pants, t-shirts, old socks, etc. that are old and worn but still (in my opinion) wearable. They're great for working in the house or yard because I never have to worry about ruining them. Madame Chic supposedly wore good clothes when she did her housecleaning (she did all her own housecleaning, one way she was able to stay trim) and simply wore an apron over them to keep them clean. I don't know if my house is dirtier to start with or I clean differently, but an apron - even a large one - would not suffice.

While many of the "secrets" in Lessons from Madame Chic are things I already do and others are things I know about but have not incorporated into my life for whatever reason, I draw the line at giving up my play clothes.

Quality of Life

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am especially thankful for my good health.

I come from a long-lived, healthy family and have always assumed good health. As I get older, I see many colleagues who are not so fortunate. While most of the women in my exercise class are active and independent, many have had knee, hip or shoulder replacements. Others have physical limitations that keep me aware of my possible vulnerability.

Recently, I reconnected with a woman with whom I went to Library School. I had always been a little envious of her: She was very attractive, always looked good in her clothes and had a job I would have liked. Now, although still attractive, she has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She had to leave her job, has a difficult time walking and has lots of trouble following a thought to its conclusion. Another friend of mine broke her foot and is wheelchair-bound. Although the wheelchair is temporary, an accident like hers could happen to me.

And there are other people I know, some much younger than I, who have a variety of physical ailments.

All of which motivate me to keep active both physically and mentally and to be thankful every day for what I am able to accomplish every day.

An Itinerant Cataloger

I've just finished the first week of my new schedule as an itinerant cataloger, although the schedule will fluctuate a little from week to week. There are two holidays in November to work around, too. The week was somewhat more chaotic than usual since I had to cope with 34 hours of no electricity due to Hurricane Sandy.

Here's what it looked like:

Monday: I arrived at Springfield City Library at 9:00 a.m. The first thing I needed to do was learn the cataloging function of Evergreen and SCL's local practices. The library closed at noon because of the storm. I went home and graded papers and began prep for Thursday's class. The lights went out at 2:30, but I worked until it got too dark to do that. I lit candles, listened to the battery powered radio and watched the wind blow the trees around.

Tuesday: Still no lights. I went to SCL and worked on music CDs (mostly copy cataloging), got more comfortable with Evergreen and SCLs music classification system.

Wednesday: The lights came on about 12:30 a.m. It was good to wash in warm water and make coffee that morning. I went to Town Hall to teach the senior exercise class at the Council on Aging office, then off to MassCat to work on their database. I'm more aware of the differences between Evergreen and Koha, the two most common Open Source systems available to libraries.

Thursday was owner/member appreciation day at the local food co-op. I had been planning for a couple of weeks to go shopping there and take advantage of the 10% discount. First, I had to finish prepping for LIS415, which I did. I had a lot of photocopying to do for class, so I left a little early. It was a good class, perhaps the best of the semester. This has been a quiet group of students, not much discussion/questions during class but that night was different. They had a group assignment to work on and really got into it.

Friday: back to Town Hall, but first a stop by the library to sign the bi-weekly warrants (I'm trustee chair). The other exercise instructor usually takes responsibility for most of Friday's class. I lead the part where the exercises aggravate her bad back. I found out that the Town Hall will be closed the day after Thanksgiving and there will be no exercise class. That's good because it makes my schedule easier. The MassCat office will also be closed that day and if there's no exercise class, I can work at SCL from 9-5.

So now it's Saturday and I don't feel like doing anything at all. I've done some odds and ends around the house and there are plenty of things I could do, but they can wait till tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll have more time. It's the first day of Standard Time (fall back) and will be a whole hour longer.

Hot Stuff

Of course! As soon as I posted about semi-retirement, I received a phone call from Springfield City Library asking if I could work for them part time. 

Because the migration to a new Integrated Library System did not go as smoothly as everyone hoped, their cataloger has fallen way behind on original cataloging and they need someone to help. That's me.

So now I'm working just about full time: 10 hours each week at MassCat, 1 or 2 days each week (depending on what else I have scheduled) at SCL, and one full day and evening for preparation and teaching Information Organization. And let's not forget the senior Osteo Exercise class which now meets two mornings each week because it is so popular.

Last year at this time I had no work other than the Info Org class. Now I can barely fit in all the things I have to do. Guess I'll just have to cut back on cleaning house :-)

Settling into Semi-Retirement

I was laid off from a full-time job more than two years ago. I collected unemployment for a while and have worked in a variety of part-time jobs. Finally my life seems to be settling into somewhat of a pattern that I enjoy.

This is what my schedule looks like for the next few months: Two mornings each week (Wednesday and Friday) I attend the senior exercise class in town. I share leading the class with another woman. Sometimes I lead the entire class; sometimes we each lead a part of it. Now that there are two classes each week, she'll be leading more. If I find myself short of time, I may not go to both.

After exercise class, I head out to the Massachusetts Library System-west office where the MassCat office is located. There I spend the rest of the day on database maintenance and original cataloging for member libraries.

Thursday evenings I teach LIS415 for Simmons GSLIS-west. I spend most of Thursday (and some of the other days not otherwise accounted for) preparing for that class.

For the next few months, I'm contracted to teach one Continuing Education class/month for the Connecticut State Library or the Mass Library System. The workshops will be Cataloging Equipment, RDA, and an overview of cataloging for "accidental catalogers".

That leave me plenty of time to read (current book: Dearie), work on crossword puzzles and cook. Now that the weather is getting cooler, I'm baking muffins and quickbreads. I also made a pan of lasagna and included a layer of roasted summer squash. Yum.

This is the life - hope it continues this way for a long time.

First Day of School

It doesn't matter if it's second grade, high school, or college; if you're a student or the teacher, the First Day of School still feels like the First Day of School.

Tonight, I teach the first class of the fall semester of Information Organization. There are 13 students enrolled - a nice size. It's large enough for variety and discussion, but small enough that I should be able to learn everyone's name in a couple of weeks and not be overwhelmed when I grade papers.

This will be my 4th time teaching the course. I had really become comfortable using eLearning (aka Blackboard) and recently figured out a bunch of neat features when Simmons decided to switch to Moodle. I spent a few weeks last month copying and pasting materials from one to the other. Moodle isn't as pretty as eLearning, but maybe I just haven't found how to add interesting colors and designs.

This morning I finished revising the slides and lecture notes for tonight's class and just uploaded the slides to Moodle under Unit 1. I have the hard copies I need, several files on a flash drive to print at the GSLIS-west office before class, the props I'll be using for an organization exercise, my water bottle and a snack. I'm ready to go!

A Lottery Ticket

I have rules about buying lottery tickets. I never spend more than $1/week and anything I win under $100 gets plowed back into lottery tickets. I don't have to worry too much about that second rule. I've never won more than $20 and that was only once. It was pretty exciting, though.

Most weeks I buy a $1 scratch ticket; sometimes I go for several weeks without buying any. Last week when I bought my ticket and scratched it -  nothing. I consider that a contribution to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

A couple of days ago, I bought a ticket and won $2! Next week, I'll exchange it for a $2 ticket for which I won't have to pay anything. We'll see what it nets me.

I know that I'm unlikely to win more than a few dollars playing the lottery, but I can always hope. And that's what keeps my playing - that possibility that I might actually win big money. Then, of course, I think of all the things I would do with all that money.

I hope I would be altruistic enough to donate a lot of it to my local public library which is planning a major renovation/addition as soon as grant money is available. There are lots of other worthy causes I'd like to support as well.

If I do win big, I'll be sure to post the information on my blog - but don't hold your breath.

Two Books

Sometimes I take a break from reading mystery novels. When I do, one of my favorite authors is Fannie Flagg. I remember Fannie Flagg from watching afternoon game shows when she was one of the celebrity guests. I didn't know why she was a celebrity, but she was always on the shows. Then I saw the movie Fried Green Tomatoes and learned that Fannie was a writer. Since then, I've read all of her books. The most recent is I Still Dream About You. Fannie is like the southern U.S. version of Maeve Binchy - another of my favorite non-mystery authors.

Fannie's characters are unusual, interesting, have unique perspectives on life and just fun to know. As much as I want to finish her books to find out what happens, I'm always sad when they end. While the endings may sometimes be bitter-sweet, they are overall very happy. I can always depend on Fannie Flagg for a totally satisfying read.

The other book I'm reading is Amy Hart's The RDA Primer : A Guide for the Occasional Cataloger. I've been trying to keep abreast of RDA so that I can offer Continuing Education programs on its basics. I'm already scheduled to give one in the fall. I'll also have to cover it more and more in LIS415.

For those of you facing RDA in the near future, this book is a great introduction. I attended a 3 session webinar a few months ago, and I follow all of the on-line discussion lists so I already know something about RDA. Amy's book has helped fill in many of the gaps. It's not that RDA's rules are so very different from AACR2's, but the thought process is very different and that's what Amy stresses through this slender book. I'm nearly finished with it (yes, I'm reading it cover to cover) and I expect I'll just start again at the beginning.

Thanks, Amy, and thanks, Fannie. Now I'm ready to delve into another mystery book.

On Hiatus

It's that time of year again: the end of the fiscal year, when money runs out, but dollars for the next year's grant haven't yet come through.

So I get a break. I'm not certain for how long because DGI's client doesn't know exactly when the check is coming, though they know it will be coming sometime.

However, I'm starting a part-time job beginning in early July for MassCat. This is the same job I had last summer; then it was only temporary, now it's permanent. For 10 hours/week I'll be doing database cleanup, copy cataloging on OCLC when there is no record in the MassCat database, and original cataloging when there is no record anywhere. The job is a short commute and coffee is available for employees.

I'll have money coming in, but plenty of time to catch up on house and yard work. And I need to begin preparing to teach Information Organization in the fall. Simmons GSLIS has changed all of its software, and I need to transfer my materials from BlackBoard to Moodle. It's also a good time to work on some revisions to the course.

What was that about a break?

Painted Toenails

In my nascent feminist days, I viewed painted toenails as rather frivolous and women who wore them as less than serious. Over the years I've met many women who are decidedly NOT frivolous, definitely serious about things that matter and still have painted toenails. Some of them even have iridescent blue toenails!

As my own feminist philosophy has matured, I realize that a woman can express herself in many ways, including ways that may appear superficial. What's most important is that she feel comfortable (both inside and outside) with what she is wearing whether it be jewelry, tatoos, high heels, hiking boots, skirts, jeans, shorts or nail polish. A woman who is secure in her own skin can try different styles and discover what works best for her. Over the years  that style may - in fact will probably - change. Mine certainly has.

I used to be envious of women and girls that had a distinct style; I never seemed to have one. But I've discovered that I have several styles simultaneously: one day is casual with cropped pants, the next may be flirty with a skirt and wedged sandals. I now like the fact that I can look entirely different from day to day depending on what feels right for me.

Even with my pared down wardrobe (I'm still weeding it, though more slowly, and purchasing very few replacements) the person I present changes from one day to the next.

I have many different, diverging interests. I can't be categorized easily. There's more to me than my shiny, rose colored toenails.

Back to Yoga

I haven't practiced Yoga in several weeks.

Because I've been leading the senior exercise class every Wednesday morning, and on the days I work at DGI, I've been walking the 1 1/2 mile trail along the Farmington River and also bacause I did the Hatfield Education Foundation 5K walk, I figured I was getting plenty of exercise. Big mistake.

None of those activites provide the stretching that Yoga does. As a result, a little over a week ago I lifted with my back instead of my legs and pulled a muscle in my lower back. For the next few days, getting into and out of bed was painful; getting into and out of the car even worse. I was okay while sitting or standing, but I needed to be very careful while changing from one to the other.

My back has been slowly getting better and the good news is that I'm redeveloping good habits in terms of posture. And I've gone back to my morning Yoga routine.

I will not neglect Yoga again.

A Day Off

It's been very busy for the last few weeks. I've either been cataloging, giving a presentation on cataloging, preparing a presentation on cataloging, or - hardest of all - agonizing that I need to prepare a presentation on cataloging that I'll be giving in a few days. All of the presentations are now over.

This morning I taught my exercise class. I have some errands to run, but otherwise my day is free. I'm hoping to get some housework done. With all of this rain followed by sunshine, the yard needs attention, too. Where to start? I'm also way behind on my crossword puzzles. There are two per week that I work on from local newspapers and right now there's a stack on the coffee table just waiting for some free time. Maybe that's what I'll spend the rest of the day doing.

Another Rejection

I received a letter last week regarding the position of Osteo Exercise Coordinator: They hired someone else. At least they interviewed me. Truth is, I'm kind of relieved. I've been so busy lately I was wondering how I was going to fit in another 15 hours/week if I got this job. And I make more money as a cataloger than they were offering.

So I guess I'm destined to be a cataloger forever - which is not at all bad. Every time I contemplate a career change, something happens to thwart any plans I might have.

Yesterday's program on Metadata and Dublin Core at the Digital Commonwealth conference went very well. A couple of people came up to me after the program and said how happy they were that they now understand what Metadata is. One young woman who is a Library Science grad student told me a story that made me very happy. She said she and some other students were working on a digital libraries project and she found the Digital Treasures site along with the information I compiled about creating metadata. She said the documentation was extremely helpful and she was so glad to meet me so that she could say so in person. Wow! My work has paid off. I smiled to myself all the way home.

What!

Can you believe it? Yesterday, I received a letter from Trinity College saying that the position of Cataloger had been filled, that they'd keep my resume on file, blah, blah, blah.

At the very least I expected to be interviewed, but they didn't even go that far.

I applied for the job at a time I wasn't working much and was watching my savings dwindle. That's no longer the case. I've been working at DGI two or three days/week for the last couple of months as well as teaching LIS415 for Simmons College and teaching the senior exercise class on Wednesday mornings.

I wasn't sure I wanted the job at Trinity for several reasons: I don't really want to work full time and the morning commute to Hartford in rush hour traffic is unpleasant. But I wanted to be the one to reject them, not the other way around!

Fortunately, I have lots of other options right now. I just wished Trinity had shown more interest in me.

Action on the Job Front

A few weeks ago, I applied for 2 jobs: one as assistant editor at a local publishing company and the other as a cataloger at Trinity College in Hartford. I received a nice email a few days later from the publishing company saying the position had been filled.

A couple of weeks later, I received a letter from Trinity College saying they were reviewing my application as well as others. The letter said all applicants would be notified "whether selected for an interview or not, to inform them of the status of the search." That's good news. Not all organizations even acknowledge they received an application, let alone tell you when the position has been filled.

Since then, I submitted an application for coordinator of RSVP exercise leaders; and last week I had an interview for the part time job. The jury is still out on my being coordinator, but I'm still leading my exercise class on Wednesday mornings.

In the meantime, most of my other part time jobs are picking up. I'm now working 3 days/week at DGI, I'll be a speaker at the Digital Commonwealth Conference (no money, but I get conference registration, lunch and travel expenses), and I'm giving some workshops for both the Connecticut State Library and the Massachusetts Library System. I'm also scheduled to work several days at Sprinfield City Library next month.

The only job that's winding down is that of adjunct faculty at Simmons GSLIS as the semester draws to a close. For the next two weeks, my students will be giving their presentations and I get to listen.

Of Course!

No sooner did I submit 2 applications for jobs (after several hours of refining my resume and composing cover letters) than I received an email from DGI saying they had finally received a contract they had been waiting for and was I interested in working 2 days a week. "Absolutely" I responded. Two days of work is perfect as that leaves me plenty of time to prepare for teaching LIS415.

I think I'm putting more work into that class this semester than I have before. I'm seeing lots of ways I'd prefer to present the material and have added other bits and pieces that I feel are important based on my working experience.

This week is spring break and I'm attending a 3 part webinar on RDA and learning lots about it. I've been pretty good about keeping up with reading, but there are lots of details that don't come up on AUTOCAT so some things are a surprise. And learning about these details in context makes more sense. I'm not nearly as fearful about it as I was a couple of years ago.

Library of Congress' implementation has been delayed by 3 months as they train their catalogers. It was supposed to be adopted by LC and the other national libraries on January 1, 2013. Now the projected date is March 31, 2013. Notice they chose March 31 and not April 1!

Applying for Jobs

In the last few days I've seen two posts for jobs I would love. I applied for them both.

I have to admit, they're not perfect. For one thing, both are full-time and my preference is to work only part-time since I'm planning to continue teaching at Simmons GSLIS-west for at least another year. But these two jobs were just too good to pass up.

One is a Cataloger position at an academic library. It's a place that I worked temporarily many years ago and it's a lovely campus. The commute, however, is long and something I'm not looking forward to.

The other is a local company that publishes textbooks and they need an Assistant Editor. Catalogers make good Editors since they (we) are used to detailed work. When I read, it is not unusual that I find a typo or an inconsistant name or some other mistake that should have been caught before the book went to press. I make the correction in the book. I couldn't go to sleep and leave it there.

And while I'm confessing to writing in library books, I will also admit to having a private logo which I add to the book so that I know I've read it. Most readers of genre fiction have their own private logo; we read so many books it's hard to keep track. I want to reassure those of you who are gasping that I would deface public property that my mark is small and discreet and is not anywhere near the barcode or anyplace that would interfere with reading any part of the book. Some libraries have a small slip of paper attached to the inside front or back cover just for this purpose. It's fun to see other people's initials or squiggles. It's like being part of a secret community.

I Have a Cold

This is terrible. I NEVER get a cold. Or I guess I'd better say I RARELY get a cold since I have a cold. This is the first cold I've had in years. If I had a job to go to, I'd call in sick. I'm well enough to do some easy things around the house (I washed the dishes yesterday, scoured the kitchen sinks, and began reading for Saturday's class), but I'm definitely not at my most productive.

I woke up yesterday with a stuffy head. All day I sneezed a lot and blew my nose a lot and drank a lot of hot tea. By evening, my shoulders ached and my skin hurt. I thought I was coming down with the flu - and I had declined to get a flu shot because I NEVER get the flu.

Last night, I took an aspirin and went to be early. In the wee hours of the morning, I was having trouble sleeping (that stuffy nose thing) and felt chilled (not a good sign) so took 2 more aspirin. This morninging, I feel much better though not 100%. I'll do what I can today, but not push myself. And I'll continue to drink a lot of hot tea.

I should be all right to lead the senior exercise class tomorrow. How would it look if I can't keep up with women who are 10 - 20 years older than I am?

MY Classes

This is my third semester teaching LIS415 - Information Organization. I've started making serious changes to the notes and slides I was given and I'm really feeling as if this course is MINE. The class last Saturday went really well; I had a good time and the students responded.

In a few minutes I'll be leaving to teach my senior exercise class. This is also beginning to feel like MY class. I have a structure to follow (like LIS415), but I can make adaptations and I'm getting to know the students and we're all having fun.

On another note, I've nearly finished Julia Child's My Life in France. What a wonderful book! It's been on my virtual "To Read" list since I saw the movie Julie & Julia. Now I understand why Julie was so adamant about trying all of Julia's recipes. With all of the cooking I do, I've never actually used the cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking, but I want to read it. Being a semi-vegetarian and traveling the low-fat route, I'm not sure how many of her recipes I'll actually use, but the cookbook sounds fascinating. The kind of work Julia put into it (10 years!) is incredible. Now that's passion.

Julia Child had such a wonderful spirit and love of life. The book, as its title explains, focuses on the years she lived in France and continues a little beyond with the publishing of the cookbook and the production of her television show on WGBH (neither of which would have happened if she had not lived in France). While she comments occasionally on her somewhat stormy relationship with her father (they had very different political views and he felt betrayed by her because her opinions were different from his), there is a lot of personal information left out. Julia was 6' 2" - that's very tall for a man and even fewer women reach that height. What was it like for her growing up? Was she teased by her schoolmates? What other challenges faced her especially in an era that had never heard of Universal Design? She must have spent a lot of time bending over kitchen counters built for people of "average" height. Because of her travels, she flew a lot; how did she deal with lack of legroom? That sort of situation is never mentioned in her book. I'm so curious about the other aspects of her life.

I strongly recommend My Life in France. I'll be sad when I've finished it. I wish someone would write Julia Child's biography - but it would have to embody her style. Is that possible?

A Flurry of Activity

I spent 4 days of the last couple of weeks working on catalog maintenance and also some cataloging. I was in two places that were in many ways the same: both were large spaces with plenty of room to work and with pleasant and helpful colleagues. However, they were different in one big way: one had windows and the other did not. The one without windows actually had windows (I could see them from the outside of the building) but they were solidly covered over, I guess because the room was "computer central" for a network of libraries. Once I get involved in a project, I don't really notice the lack of windows as long as the room is well-lit and ventilated.

It was good to get out into the working world, even for a few days. I got to wear clothes that spend more time hanging in my closet than on me. Since I completed those short projects, today I am home in my playclothes although I'll be putting on something a little more presentable to go out later today to run errands.

Tomorrow will be my first time teaching low-impact aerobics to a group of seniors. The exercises are designed to prevent (or slow down) osteoporosis. I had 4 hours of training a week ago Saturday and I've been practicing with the DVD that is given to participants. They each receive a booklet and DVD so they can practice at home. There is lots of material to read on exercise and nutrition as they relate to bone health. One of the best things about being a cataloger (or probably a librarian in general) is that just about everything in the world is useful to my job in some way. Now if I need to catalog any books (or DVDs) on osteoporosis, I'll have a lot of working knowledge.

Only 4 days till classes start at Simmons GSLIS west. I'm thinking of ways to incorporate more in-class projects and discussion and lessen my lecture time in LIS415. That's what was suggested in many of the evaluations I received from the last class - and the class before that. Now that I'm much more comfortable with the syllabus and the material, I can begin to deviate from them a little and include more of my own material.

Last night I finished Fire Sale, a V.I. Warshawsky detective novel. Today I will return it to the library and add 4 dots (1 for each hundred pages) to the 100,000 pages chart. The Hatfield Public Library has issued a town-wide reading challenge and I'm going to do my best to make it happen.

The Accidental [fill in the blank]

Much of what I've done in my life has been by accident. I set goals, begin to work on them, and then something happens to change the track. (I was going to say "throw me off the track", but that sounds too negative and the results are not usually negative.)

I know people who are very focused, have always known what they want to do, and become very successful by a variety of measurements. I've rarely been that way for more than a short period of time. I'm more of an organic person, going with the flow.That doesn't mean I don't take initiative. I inquire about options, apply for jobs, sit in on others' classes and generally expose myself looking for opportunities and inspiration. While this has usually worked for me, it's also sometimes left me wondering if this was a legitimate way to run my life.

Well, now I have some validation. I recently finished reading Composing a Life by Mary Catherine Bateson. In the last chapter, she talks about how intently pursuing goals can be a restrictive way to lead one's life; that being willing to diverge, to follow an unexpected opportunity, leads to experiences one didn't know existed. Those experiences can be just as, if not more, fulfulling than the original goal.

So Thank You, Mary Catherine Bateson. I certainly consider you and the other women in your book extremely successful in your careers. And while mine hasn't reached quite the same heights, I found reading your stories (like Liz Gilbert's) reassuring. I know that, like me, you've had crises of confidence and sometimes doubt yourself, but through it all you continue to compose your life.